Wednesday, March 15, 2006
argh.. im getting lazy with this blogging thing. but i guess i get depressed alot less frequent now.. which is a good thing, so i dont like turn to this thing for comfort or whatever.
but ANYWAY...
my days have been filled with 3 hours of STUFF.. doing STUFF for a particular birthday.. and with writing up my ssc project ( nazi experiments one), and In course Assessment which revolves around planning a clinical trial to evaluate 2 drugs..
ben's been really achieving alot lately..
playingg tons of golf, tons of tennis, recently got his handicap today, reading tons.. going to a world class uni in oct..
im really happy for him, living the life he wants to..
i guess its made me reflect on my life at the moment..
i wish i had more goals in life - some pple say what about the fact that youre studying medicine? i just say, its a more of a by the way i am studying it kinda thing.. and i know that i will succeed.. so its notlike a personally set out goal.
sometimes i think what are my good points? are there any really? i know people will never say " oh babs was a go getter, she never let anything get in her way, she always went all out to achieve what she wanted to achieve." thats cos i havent set anything out for myself to do.. and if i do, sometimes i let my pride get in the way, like ill ask myself, am i doin it so tht i feel less inferior? and then i feel shit..
im getting more critical by the day.. im less nice, not like before. ive noticed lately i get irritated by the smallest thing too.. i dont really like what im becoming..
im not really giving nor self sacrificing really.. i guess i do have my moments when i am.. but its less then before..
what do people see in me? sometimes i think what people see is so pseudo.. why do people in my life love me? im tempted to ask..
sigh.. i need some sorta focus in my life.. something big to achieve.. without having to be inspired by people around me.. a self driven goal is so much healthier..
babs ♥
9:56 pm
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Thursday, March 02, 2006
my longest hiatus thus far..
deborah's coming up to visit me today! its great.. my first ever visitor who has overcome the fear of the long haul journey up to this mysterious cold northern place called edinburgh. haha.. looking forward toa nice weekend with her..
going for the edinburgh charity fashion show tomorrow night! going with a couple of girlfriends, so should be fun.. think their showcasing quite a few designer stuff, plus there will be a raffle, african drums some live performances..etc. it costs 15 pounds and its gonna be held at the royal museum of scotland, it comes with a free drink as well as free entrance to whynot? after that.. so pretty good. =@)
watched final destination 3 last weekend. it was great entertainment!im a real chickady when it comes to horror films larh.. but i caught final destination one and two on tv the week before.. it was initially scary just cos of the concept of it and what not.. but by the 3rd one youre desensitised.. but the way all of them died is frigging gruesome larh.. WARNING SPOILERS:
in particular, the scene where these 2 blonde girls get fried alive in tanning beds as it overheated.. MAN i so did not know that tanning beds were actually beds within capsules, how claustrophobic and SCARY! eeks..
anyway.. i recently bought a pair of remington hair straighteners, so happy, finally can get my hair non frizzy in singapore now! hehe.. oh yeh and i bought a skipping rope from boots which counts calories! hahaa so cool, you like enter your weight and like the time you wanna skip for, then itll count for you. when you stop, the timer pauses too.... heheh..trying to resume some form of fitness larh.. i HATE running, i much prefer doing exercises in my room.. so this is the best! whheeeeeeeeeeeee...
babs ♥
11:50 am
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